Men In Black: The Deadly Return Prt 1

(8 years ago)


A strange man dressed in trench coat walked down the alleyway as two people in black suits lurk nearby as he made his way past trash dumpsters overloaded with garbage.

One of the black suited persons was a dark haired male with a face dominated by a strange scar that went from his ears to join into his blue lips, quipped, "I tell ya, Alpha. It's another garbage strike, but what do you expect from the civil servants of New York City?"

The other black suited person was a woman with bright red hair and thick black plastic rimmed glasses that framed her blue eyes and brought out the alabaster complexion of her face. Her stomach was low and distended.


"I wish you wouldn't hate large cities so, Omega. People come here because there's so much opportunity for them to live a better life, " she replies.

"A better life? An opportunity for them to live like rats in stacked up cardboard boxes full of junk. The large skyscrapers are impressive looking, but God didn't mean for man to live like that." Omega shrugged.

Alpha ducked down and pointed out a handsome young man with a short stature in tan trench coat and fedora.

"Speaking of rats, you were right about waiting for him here."

"So hot.", the small man said in a strong Russian accent.


Omega ducked down with murmured, "The Lil' Rah-toe-ne hisself. Let's flash our badges and corner him. He's a Lunivian, so he runs very fast."


As the man in the trenchcoat quickly walked past a dumpster, as Alpha and Omega jumped out of hiding to confront him.

" Freeze! MIB!" Alpha pointed her standard issue pistol.

" Raise your hands, Taener Traeche, Lunivian of Noeir! We heard about your little side business!" Omega added.


" Yeah! What's in the bag?" she suspiciously asked and reached for Taener's sack.

With amazing agility, the small alien kicked Alpha's shoulder, sending her sprawling to the ground.

Omega ran to his fallen partner, as Taener quickly scurried down the alleyway with his sack. He was gone with such speed, there was no time for The Men In Black to mount a chase.

" Did he just sprint down the alleyway in high heel boots?" Alpha raised her tone and noticed the alien's footwear. She found it too suspicious.

" Lunivians prefer to wear them as it fits the shape of their feet better than flat shoes. Son of A Biscuit Sandwich! Don't he see anything wrong with kicking a pregnant woman?!" Omega shrugged as he found the alien's actions very ridiculous.

" Unlikely, since his species is born from eggs."

" Actually, you're confusing his people, The Lunivians, with their monotreme cousins, The Skrull."

" I thought the Skrull were reptiles? That's why people call them Reptilians?"

" Yes, but they nurse their young, so they have mammalian characteristics. Their women have breasts, for example. Lunivians are born alive, but not fully developed. They crawl into their mother's pouch on her chest where they fully develop. They lack their Skrull cousin's scales, so they are more Marsupial like. Look, I've scouted out this area earlier. I think I know where he's headed as he wants to still catch that subway train. I'll try to cut him off by taking a short cut."


" A Shortcut?" Alpha raised her tone as she got curious.

This time, Omega's legs stretched too great length, and he stepped up on the roof of a nearby building.

" Of course, that short cut," Alpha sarcastically relented and sighed. Then, she left the alleyway and hailed a taxi.

She turned to the driver and said, " Yancy Street Subway Station, please."

She entered the cab as the driver started taking to her.

" If you don't mind saying so, you have the look of a mother," the driver smiled. " Perhaps, your hairstyle tells me so and your tummy as well!"


" Not quite yet, uhm. Another month or so. Anyway, I'm excited to see my little girl!" she laughed and spotted his license on the dashboard. " Mr. Benjamin Grimm?"

" That's the name on the license, but call me Ben. Why are you headed to a tough part of town like Yancy Street?" Grimm asked and kept driving.

" I am working in a law enforcement and I need to assist my partner who is chasing a perp."

" Sounds pretty tough. You guys need any help?" Ben nodded.


" I am fine, it's just minor criminal were after that is dealing in foreign contraband."

" Do you mean Homeland Security? Customs?" he hid his Cuban Cigars he had on the dashboard.

" I'm from Division Six, responsible for the crimes of the activities of immigrant population within the country. Any contraband you might have doesn't interest me." she answered and took her phone to send a message to her husband.


" But you're still working, being pregnant and all. That I can understand. When NASA laid me off after they cancelled The Shuttle Program, I didn't wanna stay home all day. Though it was a nice severance package they gave me, I still went and got a job with one of my cousins who owns the cab you're riding in. It's steady work and keeps me from watching sleazy talk shows all day." Ben continued and laughed.


" Yeah, I understand. Can I tell you why I am really doing this, that is if you don't tell it to anyone else?"

" Ma'am, telling me is like putting that secret in safe buried under thousands of pounds of rock. It'll stay in the vault for-evah!"

" My partner lost his wife, and he blames himself for it. So I have been working, even until now, because I am afraid what he'll do to himself if don't push him through this tough time he's been going through." Alpha replied and read her spouse's response. Then, she kept typing her next message.

" Look, Doll Face, if things are that bad, maybe he needs professional help. Have you tried getting him any?" he asked.


" The name is Alice, by the way. And I've tried to get him some counseling. But he's been rather embarrassed of his role he sees in his wife, Miriam's, death. He used to be my partner along time ago and his wife was my second partner at the Agency after him. He got involved in some shameful internet business he's not proud he did. Now, he realizes it was his mistake. But because his wife was angry with him, she didn't trust him to help her with a case. And he blames himself for her not trusting him to be there as her backup, and it was partly why she got killed. Now I am afraid if I am there to encourage him to keep going..."


" Stop. Just stop and listen good. You're pregnant and starting a family?" he concernedly replied.

" Yes, with my husband, Paul. Once our little girl is born."


" And you're gonna be nursing her and your partner at the same time? " he sighed. " I understand you're doing this for your partner so he doesn't jump off a bridge, but you're not being fair to your baby daughter or your husband. Look, he needs to man up. And he's not gonna do it as long as you're standing there ready to wet-nap his face. Take some time off because you're pregnant and need to be a mom for your family. Let your partner find someone else for a while, 'cause you got a responsibility to your husband and the health of your unborn child. That's my advice to you."

" Yes, I have thought of that, too," she nodded. " Anyway,
I'm gonna make call to the office, let me know when we're getting near Yancy Street Station."

" It's a deal!" he smiled.

At an alleyway near Yancy Street Station, Taener Trache was running through debris as he made his way towards the subway. Suddenly, the long black legs stepped down into the alleyway before him. He recognized it's was the MIB called Omega who confronted him earlier.

He turned to flee back the other way, but he saw Omega quickly draw his weapon.

" That's right, boy! This is a Mausian Ultra Magna Blaster, made from the naturally ultra hard metal of Belgun that allows this weapon to fire at such a high rate of speed!" Omega laughed and pointed his weapon. " It's measured in miles rather than feet per second. Makes the little bitty Mausian troops your people employ as colonial militia some of the most feared gun men in the galaxy, and ah' got me one of them guns right here in mah hand. Too bad for you, ya got me might wrathful feeling 'bout you boy, 'cause you knocked my pregnant partner down and all. You take another step, and all your feet will have in common anymore is the flaming stumps that are all that gonna remain of you if you're not really obedient and listen to me when I say, "Drop the bag and place your hands high up on that wall over there." "


Taener carefully placed the bag on the ground and his hands on the wall.

" Spread your legs. I don't want you ready to run, now!"Omega warned.


" Don't hurt me please! I didn't know she was pregnant! All Earth women look fat to me!" Taener begged and felt sweating.

" I've seen your women, attractive Lil Skinny Minnie's who hate fat guys like me. I don't see why a Lunivian boy such as yourself would even come to this planet, back on your world, the ladies enviably outnumber the men seven to one."



" Hah! If there's me and 99 other Luni males in a room with 700 female Luva girls, the Luva will chase around the most attractive boys and leave me and the other 80 or so other Luni with no girls to talk to." he scoffed.

" Luni escranjay gonza... (This boy will ways come out a loser...)" Omega sternly answered in an alien language.


" Boa recheena cher'ches! (...no matter how many have to wait their turn!)" Taener looked at the MIB Agent in astonishment. " Yani blahpeh Lunivia? (Your tongue can dance to the talk of Lunivia?/You speak Lunivian?)"

" Grah! Arca cas'say par'trae. (True! Like her long legs./I speak fluently)" Omega sighed and cuffed the young Lunivian, but suddenly a taxi cab pulled into the alleyway.


" Bree Pahti! (Tiny Teeth!/Look over there!)" Taener distracted the MIB to escape.

" What? " Omega surprisingly said as Taener suddenly escaped his coat and cuffs.


" Escargaje Gonza (You are a loser now!)" The alien laughed and produced a strange thick four fingered hands with sharp claws which he scratched Omega in the face with.


" Arr! Moosmuhse Pari'tee!(Rats are coming to get you/You have doomed yourself)" Omega yelled.

Taener fled quickly towards the cab as Omega aimed and fingered the trigger of his weapon, but paused as there
were witnesses.

The door of the cab opened and Taener tried to enter only to be kicked down by Alpha exiting the cab. His sack fell to the floor and several women's disembodied heads fall out of it and begin to say inane chatter.


" Hah! It was clobberin' time! What are those!" Ben curiously asked.

" Heads! He has a bag full of heads!" Alpha steadied herself from shock and looked at the ground.


" Alpha, settle down now. Your baby, " Omega noticed her distressed and having a really bad day.


" I'm fine!" she replied. "I don't need to be reminded of my unborn child! Why are these heads talking?"

" Yeah, what gives with weirdo heads, they robots or something?" Ben asked. Then, Alpha pulled out her badge and held it up to show it to Omega.

" Department of Homeland Security, Customs Division Six," he pulled Taener up by the arms.

" Agra ahd buhloxx... (I was made to see the darkness/I was knocked out)" the Lunivian sighed.

" Yrita Briga (Cease your barks/I don't want to listen to your complains!) "

" Strange language. Chechen?" Ben was surprised to hear an obscure dialect of which he had never heard the like of before.

" Yarmaheus... It's in... Siberia, near Mongolia." Omega replied.

" And these head stuffs?"


" Illegal counterfeits of Japanese android tech, they can kill if it is used for the wrong purposes because of their bad circuit protection. So they'll need to be confiscated." Omega said and recognized the cab driver's face. " Benjamin Grimm? You're the Benjamin J. Grimm who grew in this neighborhood?"

" Captain Rockford! Sweet Petunia, this a small world!" Ben happily exclaimed and grabbed Omega by the shoulders as Alpha cuffed Taener.

" You were always complaining about Yancy Street! How'd ya end up back here, ol' son?" he asked.

" Ah! I can't get away from this place." Ben answered.

" I know, as it was once said: as much as you hate where you grew up, you'll love it just as much because of the feeling you belong there. I still go down to Murray and Rio Loco regularly, to visit my Dad in Texas."


" I don't know about all that, but you are right that it feels like home." Ben scratched his head and raised his left hand as an interjection.

" You out of mix now? No one calling you anymore. Ross always needs good help, and Talbot you know."


" Bah! Who wants to stand and be ordered around by Talbot. I know you did for quite some time."

" Hey, you know, I know where a lot of bodies are buried. I'd be looking for trouble, especially after that whole Baghdadi National Prison Fiasco."

" I laughed when I heard those reports, I've seen you do worst." Ben said.

" Now, they're the same people who got their media friends to denounce the interrogation project that was going on there with "oh so concerned" voices, now that they are in power now they want me to do the same to their enemies." Omega replied.

" Don't go to work for them,"


" They're just looking to hang a noose around me if something goes bad. If I do, they'll make sure I am conveniently blamed again, and somebody else will get the axe for hiring me back. I'm not gonna go stand in front of The Senate Armed Services Committee again, knowing I told these elected hypocrites every thing I was doing. To the letter they knew what I was doing, and they get a pass by the media because somebody up above decided I would take the fall to protect their interests."

" Mr. Grimm," Alpha held a metallic device when her lenses turned black.

" Hey! Put that away! " Omega grabbed it from her. Alpha crossed her arms and stared at her partner in annoyance.


" But the MIB code says all witnesses..." she raised her tone.


" I know what policy says, but he's my friend. This dude can cause depression and traumatic feelings leading to PTSD, in people who performed services in the line of military duty. I know, because I saw SHIELD use it on a lot of military operatives and it's probably why the incidences of PTSD have been spiking among returning veterans. You're gonna make my friend sick because he had the good nature to give a pregnant woman a cab ride? Because of some policy that's not even being properly followed? I was in WI, I know the drill. This not required." Omega explained.


" But Zed..." she paused.

"...will agree with me that this is not required. Ben, give us a minute."

" Sure! " Ben returned in his cab and waited.

" Omega, policy says we neuralyze all witnesses," she said in a very serious and sarcastic low tone. " How many times do I have to remind you?"


" That's not what policy says," he answered. " I know this because I was in Witness Intimidation under Agent Phi for many years. If someone witnesses us doing our job catching alien perps, there are five things you do. First is consider for recruitment. Second is feed the witness a cover story. Third is to misinform them about what's going on. If they seem excited to tell someone, then you neuralyze them. If that doesn't work, because there is a population segment that you can't erase their brains completely of all memories, then you consider the fifth option, sending their name to Witness intimidation. Then WI will workout a plot that makes the witness a believe a completely discreditable cover story to be heard at the next UFO Convention. If that doesn't work, we make them scared some other worldly power is out to get them, to be repeated on home page of Prison Planet. And if that doesn't work...."

" And if that doesn't work, next time they get into an elevator, they'll hear some old hippy song like "California Dreaming" on the Muzak. And before they know it, they'll feel a prick, and I'll say my catchphrase, "Enjoy every sandwich.". Then they'll get cancer and die. I'm known as the "Evil Sandwich Man" on Coast To Coast AM." Alpha shrugged. " Omega, I heard what you did at WI, but I didn't know..."

" That I kill people who know to much? Don't worry, it's rare that I ever do it," he smiled. " If I killed all the people that ufologists claimed I did, it would take me forever to do all of it. Ben, he's my friend. I don't wanna do that to him, and he trusts me. If I tell him a cover story, he'll believe it. If you flash him, there's a chance he'll remember something, get curious and everything will go down hill from there."

" I see. Why don't you just recruit him then?" she gave him a suggestive look.

" Because he's my friend, and Jay would neuralyze him the first time he got out of line. Just to get back at me.

" Jay doesn't hate you."

" He makes fun of my home state just to piss me off." Omega replied and found her words too ridiculous to understand.

" The two of you could get along if you'd work out your differences together." Alpha answered. " If you don't, you can have a load of trouble in the near future. When will you ever learn?"


" Okay, but I still doubt it." Omega nervously laughed as he shrugged.

" GET A GRIP!" she angrily stared at him and knocked his head.

" Ouch! Okay!" he exclaimed and touched his head. Then, he took his wallet to get the payment. " Here, let me pay Ben for the ride and we'll march Taener and his merchandise over to the car and back to headquarters."


" Okay, but you WILL explain to Zed if he asks."

" Agreed!" he opened the cab's door and greeted the driver. "I worked that out, now. How much do I owe you?"

" Just give me twenty bucks!" Ben smiled.

"Here."
Ben counted out the money, "Evan! This is much too much!"

"Hey, my guys almost bought it in Sa'ana. You defied orders and got into a transport to come get us. If SHIELD had their way."

"Yeah, you owe me one. Is this calling it even?"

"No, this is the appreciation of someone who is a stand up guy. Buy yourself a steak, I know you're probably scrimping and saving. So go treat yourself with this."

Ben smiled as he handed Omega a small present, "Not for long. Buddy of mine who is a real brainiac has me an interview lined up with the Future Foundation. Testing their own space flight vehicle, can you believe it?"

Omega smiled, "You're a shoe in fer sure, Ben"

"Hope yer right"

"Well see ya around, got paperwork to go fill out. I'll have catch you later"

"Yeah, see ya then!"

"let me know how that interview goes!"

"I will!", Ben exclaimed as he put the cab into reverse and backed out of the alleyway.

Alpha brings the restrained alien up with her, "Really hope your right about your friend"

Omega grinned widely as he laughed, his scars enlarged his grin even more as he replied, "He's getting a job with Noah Baxter's outfit, The Future Foundation."

Alpha looked surprised as she replied, "Isn't that a KNIGHT Facility?"

Omega smiled as he pulled out a Cuban Cigar that Ben had handed him during their conversation, "KNIGHT doesn't interview anyone they ain't gonna hire. And what he saw today will pale in comparison when he starts to work for them."

Alpha ripped the cigar from Omega's hands

"Hey! That's a genuine Cuban"

"And I'm genuinely pregnant!"

"But she's almost ready to come out, what harm could it do now!" , Omega protested

"And you promised to quit smoking, remember!"

"Ahhhh! I remember. Come along, Taener"

"Dayzeh, brazapan doh knoti casacan", the alien quipped an old saying in his language. (Smile in thanks, and others will notice its good and take it away from you)

Omega sighed as he pushed the prisoner along as he followed Alpha back to their car, " When you're right, you're right little, Lil' Bud"